Beyond Fleeting Satisfaction
Have you ever noticed how certain people seem to navigate life with an assured sense of what matters? Not in a materialistic sense, but in their ability to discern quality experiences, meaningful relationships, and pursuits worth dedicating time to. This discernment—what we might call taste—extends far beyond aesthetic preferences into the very fabric of how we construct our lives.
In our accelerated culture, where algorithmic recommendations shape our consumption and "optimization" has become the modern mantra, the cultivation of personal taste represents a radical act of agency. It suggests that flourishing—what the ancient Greeks called eudaimonia—isn't merely about accumulating pleasurable experiences or achieving conventional success markers, but about developing a refined sensibility for what truly enriches our existence.
The Misunderstood Nature of Taste
When we speak of taste, we often incorrectly reduce it to mere preference or, worse, elitism. "There's no accounting for taste," goes the saying, suggesting our likes and dislikes emerge mysteriously and deserve no scrutiny. Yet this fundamentally misunderstands what taste actually is.
True taste isn't innate but cultivated through attentive engagement with the world. It's neither purely subjective nor objective, but rather intersubjective—formed through our experiences, relationships, and the communities we inhabit. As Pierre Bourdieu might note, taste functions as both personal expression and social positioning, yet transcends mere status-seeking when pursued authentically.
While visiting a small museum in Lyon, I was captivated by a collection of ordinary household objects from the late 19th century. What struck me wasn't their monetary value but the evident care with which they'd been designed and maintained—simple ceramic bowls and wooden implements that revealed a culture that hadn't yet separated utility from beauty, function from meaning. This encounter made me question how many of my own possessions would merit such consideration a century hence. How many reflected genuine discernment rather than convenient acquisition?
The Elements of Developed Taste
What constitutes refined taste in the pursuit of eudaimonia? I propose four essential elements:
1. Intentionality
Developed taste begins with mindful attention. Rather than passively consuming what's placed before us, it requires active engagement with our experiences. This means resisting the contemporary tendency toward distracted living—the half-attention we give to meals eaten before screens, conversations interrupted by notifications, or workdays fragmented by endless digital intrusions.
I maintain a practice that initially strikes others as too eccentric but later appears wise. Each quarter, I review every subscription, app, and any commitment in my life, asking not "Is this good?" but "Does this represent the best use of my limited time and attention?" This regular pruning wasn't self-denial but curation—a recognition that a life of quality requires careful editing.
2. Discernment Beyond Categories
Conventional taste often operates within established categories: the "right" wines, authors, or vacation destinations. True discernment, however, cuts across these artificial boundaries to recognize quality wherever it exists.
This means rejecting both thoughtless consumption and its opposite—reflexive contrarianism. Neither blindly following trends nor automatically rejecting the popular demonstrates developed taste. Instead, we might ask:
Does this object, practice, or pursuit contain genuine value?
Does it reward sustained attention?
Does it connect me more deeply to myself, others, or the world?
3. Historical Awareness
Developed taste acknowledges its place in a lineage. While not beholden to tradition for tradition's sake, it recognizes that contemporary challenges and pleasures have historical antecedents. This temporal perspective offers both humility and liberation—humility in recognizing we're not the first to seek meaning, and liberation in drawing upon accumulated wisdom.
The Roman Stoics, Renaissance humanists, and Enlightenment thinkers all wrestled with questions of how to live well amid uncertainty. Their insights, properly contextualized, offer frameworks more substantive than the latest productivity trends or wellness fads.
4. Communal Dimension
While deeply personal, taste develops in dialogue with others. The communities we participate in—whether professional, intellectual, or social—profoundly shape our sensibilities. This doesn't mean conforming to group preferences, but rather engaging in the mutual exchange and refinement of values.
The Practice of Taste Cultivation
How might we cultivate this discernment in practical terms? I might offer some ideas, but please share if you know of other ones. Consider these frameworks:
The Attention Audit
Once a month, examine where your attention actually goes rather than where you believe it does. Track your activities in 30-minute increments for three typical days. Then ask:
- Which activities generated lasting satisfaction versus momentary distraction?
- Which relationships deepened through genuine engagement?
- Which information sources expanded my understanding rather than confirming existing views?
This exercise reveals not just time allocation but also its quality, often with surprising results.
The Rule of Three
Before acquiring anything significant (whether object, commitment, or regular activity), consider:
- Will this enhance my life three months from now?
- Would the three people whose judgment I most respect consider this worthwhile?
- Does this contribute to at least three dimensions of well-being (intellectual, physical, relational, spiritual, creative)?
This simple framework prevents impulsive acquisition while promoting multi-dimensional flourishing.
The Quality Question
For any regular activity, ask: "Is there a way to transform this from mere completion to genuine quality?" This might mean:
- Turning routine meals into occasions for presence and appreciation
- Converting obligatory interactions into opportunities for meaningful connection
- Transforming necessary work into craftsmanship
Taste Across Life Domains
What does cultivated taste look like across different aspects of life?
In Relationships
Discerning relationship cultivation means valuing depth over breadth. It recognizes that meaningful connection requires sustained attention rather than fragmented, transactional interactions.
A former colleague in Madrid described how her family had maintained a monthly dinner with three other families for over fifteen years. "These aren't necessarily our closest individual friends," she explained, "but together we've created something more valuable than convenience—a community with shared history. In an age of mobility, this continuity has become precious."
In Work
Beyond mere productivity or advancement, developed taste in work manifests as craftsmanship—doing work worth doing, done well. This applies whether you're designing buildings, writing code, teaching students, or planning logistics.
Craftsmanship doesn't require a traditionally creative profession but rather an approach that values quality execution, appropriate solutions, and work that stands the test of time. It asks not just "Is this efficient?" but "Is this excellence?"
In Consumption
Perhaps nowhere is taste more evident than in what and how we consume—not just material goods but media, experiences, and ideas.
Refined consumption isn't about luxury but about congruence with deeper values. It might mean fewer possessions of greater quality, media chosen for substantive content rather than algorithmic suggestion, or experiences valued for their meaning rather than their Instagram potential.
In Leisure
Developed taste in leisure recognizes that free time is not merely for recovery from work but for activities that expand our capacities for appreciation and creation. This might mean:
- Picking challenges rather than merely entertaining activities
- Travel that engages with places rather than consuming their surface
- Hobbies that develop skill and discernment rather than passive amusement
The Ethical Dimension of Taste
Cultivating taste isn't merely aesthetic but ethical. It recognizes that how we direct our attention shapes who we become. The choices we make—about where to focus, what to value, and how to engage—gradually form our character.
This ethical dimension extends beyond personal development to our impact on others. Our consumption choices affect communities and environments. Our attention patterns influence those around us, especially those under our care or leadership.
What we talk about, what we notice, what we praise or criticize—all communicate values more powerfully than explicit statements. A parent discussing the craftsmanship of a well-made object teaches different values than one emphasizing its brand prestige. A leader who recognizes thoughtful work demonstrates different priorities than one who rewards mere visibility.
Taste as Resistance
In our current economic and technological landscape, refined discernment represents a form of resistance against powerful forces designed to capture and monetize our attention. Recommendation algorithms, endless content streams, and frictionless consumption pathways all undermine the developmental space needed for taste cultivation.
Resisting these forces doesn't require rejection of technology or modernity, but rather their thoughtful integration. It means creating boundaries that protect the attention necessary for discernment, building communities that value substance over novelty, and developing practices that promote agency over passivity.
Conclusion: From Taste to Eudaimonia
The journey from undeveloped to refined taste isn't about accumulating cultural capital or achieving some final state of discernment. Rather, it's an ongoing practice of becoming more fully present to our experiences and more intentional in our choices.
Eudaimonia—that elusive state of flourishing the Greeks considered life's proper aim—perhaps emerges not from having the "right" preferences but from the process of developing them consciously. It comes from the growing ability to recognize quality, create meaning, and engage deeply rather than skim surfaces.
As we cultivate discernment across different domains of life, we become more capable of both appreciating and creating value. We develop what philosopher Pierre Hadot called "spiritual exercises"—practices that gradually transform our perception and experience of everyday life.
The art of living well, like any art, requires both practice and reflection. It demands we move beyond passive consumption to active creation of our lives. In cultivating taste—in relationships, work, consumption, and leisure, we reclaim agency not merely over what we do but over who we become.
What better measure of a well-lived life than the quality of attention we've given it?
